WHERE IN THE H-E-DOUBLE-HOCKEYSTICKS IS SONNY FREAKIN' CROCKETT?

So, I come across a big spread ad for this year's Emmy Awards. It's a huge collage of TV stars past and present (over 400 it turns out). I think, cool, I know one guy who'll definitely be in there. So I start to look ...

There's the Fonz! Rockford and Magnum, nice! George Clooney of course (though I'd like to have seen him in his Facts of Life mullet) ... Dana Delaney: rrowwrr! Looking ... looking ... Six Million Dollar Man ... couple of Muppets ... McDreamy, or McSweaty, or whichever one Patrick Dempsey is ... looking ... Huh. That's odd. Looking ... there's the Beav ... okay ...

WHY DON'T I SEE SONNY FRIGGIN' CROCKETT?

Are you kidding me? How can you overlook Miami Vice? The show considered one of the most influential of all time (as noted here among other places). Winner of four Emmys and two Grammys. Show with the greatest roster of guest stars ever (as I've mentioned one or four times before). WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS OUTRAGE?

Now, I realize that even in a double truck ad, they can't fit in everyone. And I realize they have to weight it a little more heavily towards recent shows (but do we really need all two and half of the Two And A Half Men?) But let's review some of the "stars" that did make the cut ...

All three of the knuckleheads from Full House? Really? Okay, I get Michael J. Fox. But Meredith Baxter Birney? Every one of the main characters from Friends and Sex and the City? I guess. But ALL of the leads from Wings? Seriously?

Do we really need to see everyone who ever set foot on the set of E.R. and L.A. Law? They had to go to black and white to find a picture of Stuart and Anne for crying out loud!

And the ultimate insult: Tony Danza. Not from Taxi, which would be somewhat defensible, but from Who's The Boss! Yes, WHO'S THE BOSS! That must be a dagger in poor Don Johnson's heart.

I can live without Philip Michael Thomas, though they were obviously stretching to get some diversity in there. I mean, Hawk from Spenser for Hire? In fact, looking at the ad, maybe the NAACP has case when they complain about the lack of "people of color" in primetime (unless you count the decidedly yellow Simpsons).

I can only hope that I somehow missed him. So I'll keep searching for Sonny's fashionably stubbled visage. Maybe he's hidden behind Homey the Clown or Hasselhoff. Hasselhoff! It's enough to make you weep.