So, I come across a big spread ad for this year's Emmy Awards. It's a huge collage of TV stars past and present (over 400 it turns out). I think, cool, I know one guy who'll definitely be in there. So I start to look ...
There's the Fonz! Rockford and Magnum, nice! George Clooney of course (though I'd like to have seen him in his Facts of Life mullet) ... Dana Delaney: rrowwrr! Looking ... looking ... Six Million Dollar Man ... couple of Muppets ... McDreamy, or McSweaty, or whichever one Patrick Dempsey is ... looking ... Huh. That's odd. Looking ... there's the Beav ... okay ...
WHY DON'T I SEE SONNY FRIGGIN' CROCKETT?
Are you kidding me? How can you overlook Miami Vice? The show considered one of the most influential of all time (as noted here among other places). Winner of four Emmys and two Grammys. Show with the greatest roster of guest stars ever (as I've mentioned one or four times before). WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS OUTRAGE?
Now, I realize that even in a double truck ad, they can't fit in everyone. And I realize they have to weight it a little more heavily towards recent shows (but do we really need all two and half of the Two And A Half Men?) But let's review some of the "stars" that did make the cut ...
All three of the knuckleheads from Full House? Really? Okay, I get Michael J. Fox. But Meredith Baxter Birney? Every one of the main characters from Friends and Sex and the City? I guess. But ALL of the leads from Wings? Seriously?
Do we really need to see everyone who ever set foot on the set of E.R. and L.A. Law? They had to go to black and white to find a picture of Stuart and Anne for crying out loud!
And the ultimate insult: Tony Danza. Not from Taxi, which would be somewhat defensible, but from Who's The Boss! Yes, WHO'S THE BOSS! That must be a dagger in poor Don Johnson's heart.
I can live without Philip Michael Thomas, though they were obviously stretching to get some diversity in there. I mean, Hawk from Spenser for Hire? In fact, looking at the ad, maybe the NAACP has case when they complain about the lack of "people of color" in primetime (unless you count the decidedly yellow Simpsons).
I can only hope that I somehow missed him. So I'll keep searching for Sonny's fashionably stubbled visage. Maybe he's hidden behind Homey the Clown or Hasselhoff. Hasselhoff! It's enough to make you weep.
Given the decidedly lowbrow nature of that last post (the only way that it could have been worse is if the midgets had hit someone in the groin with a medicine ball), I feel as though I need to raise the level of discourse here at The Nugatorium. And what better way to do that and still get a few laughs than with something from McSweeney's?
This script for "Without A Trace" as penned by Jean-Paul Sarte has a very Python-esque feel to it. And even if you're somewhat limited in your knowledge of existentialist philosophy (I'm more of a Empiricism man myself), you'll still likely find it funny.
Ahh, the 80s. The hair. The Reagans. And, of course, the music.
For me, the quintessential music of the eighties came from the new wave/modern rock/college radio-type bands. Of course there was a lot of hair metal and rap going on, as well as an obscure little album called "Thriller," but none of that evokes the era nearly as well for me. Also, I typically think of bands that favored the "electronic" as being the sound of that decade.
As far as my criteria for this list, I only wanted to include bands that had at least a few "hits" (in some cases, somewhat loosely defined), so no one-hit wonders (sorry "Split Enz" - and yes, I know they also did "Six Months In A Leaky Boat"), and no XTC, or Sonic Youth, or Bronski Beat, or Kajagoogoo, or ... well, you get the idea.
The bands also must have had their real heyday in the eighties––and then not much else. So given R.E.M. and U2's ongoing success, they don't qualify. The Cure had too many early nineties hits to make the list. And at the other end, Squeeze was too big in the late-seventies. I'm also putting The Clash in that category, as half their studio albums were recorded in the seventies.
There are also a couple of bands who did have their biggest years in the eighties, but in my mind have kind of "transcended" that one decade. So no Talking Heads, no Police.
If you disagree, your comments are welcome, and in fact encouraged. Or, as always, click on the link at the upper right that says "Create Blog" and make your own list.
With all that out of the way, grab your skinny tie and cropped jacket and let's take a look at the first five bands ...
10. Orchestral Maneuvers In The Dark
Biggest Songs: If You Leave, Joan of Arc, So In Love, Forever Live and Die
OMD will always hold a special place in my eighties heart as they were the first "new wave"-type band I was introduced to as a freshman in college (along with Alphaville). Like three other bands on this list, they gain increased "eightiesness" by having a song featured in a John Hughes movie, in this case "Pretty In Pink." "Tesla Girls" also made it into "Weird Science," but though that film was written and directed by Hughes, it's not part of the Pretty In Pink/Sixteen Candles/Breakfast Club true-eighties-starring-Molly Ringwald-triumverate. But back to Pretty in Pink ...
9. Thompson Twins
Biggest Songs: Hold Me Now, Doctor! Doctor!, Lay Your Hands On Me
As anyone with a knowledge of eighties music (or the ability to type "wikipedia") knows, there were no twins, nor anyone named "Thompson" in Thompson Twins. They were named after a pair of detectives in the Tintin comics. The Twins are another band with a Hughes-movie song, "If You Were Here" in "Sixteen Candles." But why don't we pause a few minutes, so that you can hold me now ...
8. Tears For Fears
Biggest Songs: Everybody Wants To Rule The World, Shout, Head Over Heals, Mad World, Sowing The Seeds of Love
Tears For Fears is one of those bands that you initially remember only a couple of songs for, then when you look at their discography, you recognize more and more titles. I for one had completely forgotten about "Mad World," which came out a couple of years before their huge "Songs From The Big Chair" album of 1984. In fact, all told (including post-eighties albums), they've sold over 22 million albums. Of course, most of those were sold back in the days before young punks could just download music without all that filthy lucre changing hands.
Even though "Shout" may be the first song that comes to mind for most people, I've always preferred their other, more upbeat number one hit ...
6. The Go-Gos
Biggest Songs: We Got The Beat, Our Lips Are Sealed, Vacation, Head Over Heels
The Go-Gos have a different sound than the other bands on this list, and also hold a couple of other distinctions. First, they're the only American band. And second, the only ladies (other than Alannah Currie from Thompson Twins). Belinda Carlisle and the gals were in fact quite influential in new wave. And they were also ground-breakers as the first all-female band to write their own songs and play their own instruments–and make it to the top of the Billboard charts.
I wanted to use the video for "We Got The Beat," but the black pantyhose/white pumps combo Belinda was sporting was really throwing me off. So here's "Our Lips Are Sealed" instead.
6. Psychedelic Furs
Biggest Songs: Pretty In Pink, Love My Way, Heaven, Heartbreak Beat
The Furs actually first recorded "Pretty In Pink" back in 1981, and it served as inspiration for the title of the John Hughes-penned movie. So extra points for that, even if an OMD song (see above) ended up being the bigger hit from that soundtrack.
I personally prefer "Heartbreak Beat" to "Pretty In Pink," but since this video–featuring footage of Andie, Blane, and Duckie–really helps you relive that glorious decade, Pink it is ...
His assignment: a secret mission for the United States government. His only weapon: himself.
Hopefully this Olympics' gymnastics stars will exercise better judgment in their post-competition careers than former champion Kurt Thomas. A world champion, Kurt was denied his chance to go for the gold after those nasty Russians decided to take a drive through Afghanistan and the USA boycotted the 1980 Moscow Olympics (apparently the Russkies learned their lesson, and this time they invaded during the games).
A few years later, someone apparently thought: "You know what would be cool? A movie with ninjas ... and pommel horses!" Check out the trailer. Keep in mind, the purpose of a trailer is to make you really want to see a movie. Which for me sort of makes this an "anti-trailer."
Okay, this is almost as bad as linking to "Star Wars Kids" or "Evolution of Dance" and calling it a "post." But it's Friday, I'm tired, and my brain well not work is.
Laughing in the face of storm warnings and basic intelligence, Kevin Kearney of Ft. Lauderdale decided it would be a totally rad idea to kite surf during Tropical Storm Fay. And now, surprising no one other than himself, he's in the hospital in critical condition. While I wish him a complete recovery, I also hope that he isn't allowed to breed.
Apparently Mr. Kearney has forgotten the end of "Point Break," where surfer/philosopher Bodhi, also foolishly challenging Mother Nature's fury, surfs into a typhoon and perishes. Or did he ...
Well, I certainly don't remember this dire possibility receiving even a mention up in NBC's all-sunshine and-rainbows Olympics coverage: that the Beijing Olympics are, in fact, a trap.
Though to the surprise of no sane person the recently reported Sasquatch corpse turned out to be a hoax, there is another, uplifting Bigfoot story out there.
Watching Larry King is no end of fun. At the very least, he qualifies as "addled" and at times reaches the level of pure wombat crazy. But they still pay him millions to make brilliant observations like this.
A few years ago, Randy Constan gained online notoriety for his love of Peter Pan. Or, more specifically, his love of dressing up like Peter Pan. Pretty much all the time. Except of course when he was dressing up like Little Lord Fauntleroy, "The Blue Prince," "Bunny Boi," or "The Purple Pixie."
He's still at it. And now he's engaged and has a Tinkerbell to share his, er, hobby. And yes, Tinkerbell is a woman, not a "tinkerbell" like Mr. Roper used to mean when he'd see Jack and pretend like he was ringing a bell with a limp wrist.
Comedian Greg Johnson ran across America. Starkers. While the video shows him running in a number of places across America, he sure doesn't look like a guy who ran 2400+ miles. So "across America" may not be completely accurate. And, in case you were worried, they do blur out his naughty bits (more or less).
Thanks to modern technology, you don't even need the Cliffs notes to cram for your test on "The Great Dane." Checkout Hamlet (Facebook News Feed Edition) from McSweeney's.
Now I can't wait to see the Twitter version of Macbeth. Via YesButNoButYes
For kids during the seventies (you know, that decade before most of you were born), there was nothing like getting the latest "Wacky Packages" stickers and slapping them on any available surface. Each one was a silly and/or sick parody of a real product, like "Heidz Retchup," or "Blisterine Monster Wash."
Now there's a book celebrating their glory years. It's doubtful we'll see their like again, as today giving kids a "Slopps Boozeball All Bum" sticker (with the instruction to "Stick 'em on a wino") would be frowned upon.
Another amusingly themed photo collection, this time showing various souvenirs in place of the actual thing/place they're meant to represent. No real purpose. Much like 99.3% of the rest of the Internet.
I'm probably about 15 years too old to really like this song, but while I've been accused of being mature, so I'm going with it. Though my advanced age is likely why I'm not sure if Natalie Portman's Shaved Head are hipsters, mocking hipsters, or (my guess) both.
Besides, who wouldn't like a band with a name like that? Below is their potentially seizure-inducing video for "Sophisticated Side Ponytail." There are some allusions to "mature themes," though its tamer than your average episode of "Gossip Girl." Or so I imagine. I've never actually watched it. Too mature.
"Viral Video Film School" is an entertaining and irreverant series of short videos hosted by the seemingly at-least-slightly stoned Brett Erlich. They deal with various Internet video related phenomena, including this insightful look at bears and the people who videotape them.
With just under three months until election day, I was wondering where JibJab's big election season production number was at. And here it finally is in all it's animated satiric glory.
As with most JibJab politically themed videos, there's plenty to offend supporters of both candidates. Which really is as it should be.
Unless you're planning to shave around your goatee while skydiving or during an earthquake, you really shouldn't be buying the GoateeSaver.
I've worn a goatee for a couple of years now (much like blogging, I was about five years behind the trend), and I've really never had a problem shaving around it. Plus, they claim this hunk of overpriced plastic will give you the "perfect goatee." But a goatee shouldn't be "perfect." Start down that road, and pretty soon you'll be plucking your eyebrows and waxing your chest.
And finally, I'm just enough of a geek to have this image come to mind when I see that hunk of plastic on the dude's face.
New Zealand has a law against showing photos of juveniles wanted for crimes. So what do you do when you need to warn people about a 16-year-old wanted for a series of burglaries? Judging by the "wanted poster" below, you use a picture of a 58-year old, overweight Scottish actor who some cop thinks has a passing resemblance to said ne'er-do-well.
Now, Robbie does have a son. Assuming he looks like dear old dad, I hope he won't be in Christchurch any time soon, or he could end up in the Kiwi hoosegow. Hang on ... okay, I just Googled "kiwi hoosegow," and I am in fact the first person to use that phrase. I'm all about blazing linguistic trails.
Alka-Seltzer is doing a bunch of videos for their summer "Great American Road Trip," and as a lover of barbecue in its many forms, I particularly enjoyed this ode to the many iterations of "BBQ" from south of the Mason-Dixon line. Except for that whole Alabama mayo thing. That just sounds awful.
This "Cheese Rap" is another particularly disturbing part of the series. Personally, I don't want to eat any dairy product that talks, sings, or raps to me.
Here's an entertaining and memory-inducing list of "The 50 Most Famous Cars Of All Time" from automotive site Ridelust. There's a lot of horsepower and displacement talk, as well as some interesting little tidbits. Like I didn't realize Magnum drove three different Ferraris over the course of his series. Apparently Robin Masters liked to keep his sports cars fresh.
But where's Rockford's Firebird? Or the Corvette Stingray from Riptide? And only one of Crockett's Ferrari's from Miami Vice? Okay, that last one may seem like a travesty only to me.
Boy, I wish we'd had this helpful book of "Safe Baby Pregnancy Tips" back when "we" were pregnant. There was nothing my wife liked better in her third trimester than reenacting her favorite scenes from "Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo." And do you know how hard it is to find chilled monkey brains at 2AM in this town? Apparently, neither was such a good idea.
Why do older anti-drug PSAs always look like they were created by someone who was a heavy drug user? This TV spot from Hanna-Barbera definitely is a groovy trip.
Some would say that having to eat a a Spicy Italian sub from Subway without sauce is a crime. But not the Jacksonvile, Fla. police. At least not an offense that requires a call to 911.
Remember all those silly videos people like me emailed you over the last few years? No, you actually have a life? Well, bully for you, Mr. or Ms. Productive.
Anyway, most of those former online all-stars are conveniently placed on The Internet Meme Timeline. So relive the magic that was "Peter Pan Pixie Guy," "Bananaphone," and "Ask A Ninja."
There's a magical place called Mango Falls where film from cameras found at garage sales and flea markets is developed, printed, and made available for all to enjoy.
So take a look, you never know who you'll see. Actually, that's probably literally true. But, as the site says, you may see "your mom, your dad, and that weird uncle who always seemed to be 'getting out of jail'."
Larry King can sound somewhat, shall we say, "erratic" at the best of times. Especially if you ever read his rambling USA Today "column." But judging by this article and audio from The Huffington Post, back in the day when he was doing his overnight radio show, he was co-hosting with his pal Jack Daniels and his partner, Jimmy Beam.
While I like raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens as much as the next guy, bumping around online I've found a few of my other favorite things. On the off chance someone out there will enjoy them as much as I do, I thought I'd share. So enjoy.
So, I come across a big spread ad for this year's Emmy Awards. It's a huge collage of TV stars past and present (over 400 it turns out). I think, cool, I know one guy who'll definitely be in there. So I start to look ...
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